Eighth Grave After Dark Read online

  Reyes was close, as in right next to me, so I had to make it good. “Oh, it’s awful. I have to pee every thirty seconds. My ankles are swollen. I drool when I least expect it. And I keep getting this weird craving for sardines and green chile on melba toast.”

  Wyatt had the decency to look aghast, but Reyes just grinned, focusing on the food instead of my suffering. The scoundrel.

  “You hate sardines,” Gemma said to me.

  “Exactly. It’s like I’m not me anymore and someone—or something—has taken over my body.” I gasped. “It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers!”

  Gemma giggled. “I think it’s called being pregnant.”

  “Nobody cares about my suffering,” I said as Reyes took both our plates to a table.

  Gemma and Wyatt followed us. “We care,” Gemma said. “Just not a lot.”

  She was so sweet.

  As the afternoon wore on, Reyes and I got to sit back and watch Cookie in action. For once in her life, my very best friend was the absolute center of attention. And she glowed.

  “She’s really something,” Reyes said to me.

  I turned to him, his eyes sparkling with appreciation as he watched her and Ubie. “You know, every time you say something like that, I fall a little more in love with you.”

  His shimmering gaze landed on me in surprise. But he recovered quickly, his expression intensifying as he took me in. It made my insides tighten.

  “I wanted to thank you for being Uncle Bob’s best man.”

  He didn’t respond. His gaze dropped to my mouth and lingered there as his heat feathered over my skin. He let one finger slide under the hem of my dress and up over a knee. His touch sent a shiver of delight racing up my thigh to settle in my nether regions. He was so darkly sensual, the moment didn’t last long. There were too many other women clamoring for his attention, and I sat floored at their brazenness. No idea why. It was like that everywhere we went. Well, when we went places. One actually asked him if he could go out front to check her tires.

  Man, Cookie had a fertile set of relatives.

  Most people stayed outside to mingle. Fortunately, there weren’t many departed in the back. They were mostly on the front lawn. As Reyes helped pull tables together, I chatted with Swopes and Osh, much to the chagrin of Cookie’s second cousins, who were vying for their attention at the time, then with my good friend Pari and her beau, Tre. Then I sought out Quentin and Amber after Cookie and Uncle Bob cut the cake. We’d asked Quentin beforehand if he’d wanted an interpreter and he said no, informing us that nobody listened to the words anyway. He just wanted to enjoy the ceremony. What he’d really wanted was to whisper—aka, sign small where no one else could see—back and forth with Amber through the whole thing. They were absolutely adorable together.

  The next obstacle I faced that afternoon was of the four-legged variety. Thrilled that Reyes and I were outside, and taking that as her cue to get her freak on, Artemis ran around like a gerbil on meth, turning occasionally to make sure we were still watching. And God help us if we weren’t. Every time we turned away, she charged. That was fine for most involved, but she was solid to Reyes, Osh, and me. So while she flew through the guests with the greatest of ease, she’d almost taken me out. Twice. Fearing for my and Beep’s safety, Reyes escorted me inside, where more food awaited and guests stood around chatting and eating and generally enjoying the afternoon. But we weren’t in there long before he was needed elsewhere.

  Turned out, Cookie had a whole plethora of family that I didn’t know about. They were all aunts, uncles, and cousins. No siblings and her parents had passed away years ago, but she still had family showing up to represent like true homies. She even had that gaggle of second cousins. Five young women who had decided that Reyes, Osh, and Garrett were the most delicious beings they’d ever seen. Even Quentin and Pari’s tall drink of water, Tre, weren’t exempt from the Flirtatious Five. I was right there with them, but I did fear for one’s life when she made googly eyes at Quentin. Amber’s hackles rose to needlelike points, and I was afraid the other girl would not make it home with all her hair. Or all her limbs. Or both eyes. Or a full set of teeth. So many body parts could go missing in such a scenario.

  Thankfully, Reyes headed that confrontation off at the pass, and Amber led Quentin to a quiet little table away from most of the guests. But that put Reyes back in the fray. I watched as the five practically assaulted him, each trying to get closer than the next. He took it all in stride, not that I was surprised. He’d been getting that kind of attention his entire life.

  And he knew I was watching from inside. I sat at a window as he endured their attention, but the more I watched, the more flirtatious glances he shot my way. The more winks he offered. The more lopsided grins he wore. It was all quite enchanting, but the one that got me, the killer movement that almost sent me into orgasmic bliss, was when he glanced at me from across the sea of guests, gave me a long, languid once-over, then pulled his lower lip in through his teeth. To say the move was sexy would have been like calling a tsunami a ripple in the ocean.

  I stood and walked to the door that led outside, about five seconds away from ordering him in, when I heard a female voice.

  “Hi, pumpkin head.”

  I turned to see my aunt Lillian standing behind me, trying to see over my shoulder. Aunt Lil had died some time in the ’60s. She was part world traveler and part hippie. Since there were so many people around us, I had no choice but to put my phone to my ear so I could talk to her without looking like a mental patient.

  “Aunt Lil,” I said, giving her a quick hug before anyone saw us. “When did you get back?”

  “Just now, sweet cheeks. What’s all the hubbub about?”

  “Cookie got married today.”

  “Cookie?”

  I nodded. “She married Uncle Bob.”

  Aunt Lil cackled with delight at the thought. “’Bout time that boy got hitched. I been worried about him ever since that yogurt incident when he was seven.”

  I didn’t dare ask. “So, how long are you staying?”

  “Until you pop, I suppose. I got to see this girl everyone is raving about. Whole place is jumping. Nobody will stop talking about her. Even had to call in the riot police, just in case.”

  No idea.

  “That’s so great, Aunt Lil. I’m thrilled you’ll be here when Beep arrives.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it, even though I did have to pass up the chance to go skinny dipping with the seventh Tsar of Russia.” She wriggled her brows at me. “Now, where is the sexy beau of yours? I need something tall, dark, and scrumptious to look at, if you know what I mean. Men on this side aren’t always easy on the eyes.”

  I laughed softly. “He’s right over there, being accosted by Cookie’s second cousins.”

  “Perfect. I’ll join them.”

  I almost doubled over when Aunt Lil disappeared, then reappeared behind Reyes to give his ass a squeeze. He glanced at me, his face accusing as though I had something to do with it. Not to worry. Aunt Lil soon spotted Osh, who was fending off an elderly woman who’d had one too many Chardonnays. The best part, though? Reyes had blushed, and I fell a little further.

  4

  SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE

  IS TO SERVE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE TO OTHERS.

  —T-SHIRT

  The day had turned out beautiful in every way possible, but one person was missing through all of it: Angel, my departed thirteen-year-old sidekick. He never missed a party. I considered summoning him, but he already knew about the wedding. Surely he would have come if he’d wanted to. He did a lot of stuff with his own adopted family. Maybe they had something going on today as well.

  Still, I doubted it. Angel had been acting strange lately. More so than usual. He popped in at the most inopportune times, acted like he had somewhere else to be when he did stop by, and hadn’t hit on me in months. Maybe he was accepting my marriage with Reyes, respecting our union, better than I thought he would
. Or maybe the pregnancy freaked him out. Every time he did pop in unexpectedly, he seemed to avoid looking in Beep’s direction. I needed to talk to him about it. Get him counseling. Though that could be difficult, considering the situation. If only Gemma could interact with the departed.

  After two more hours of mingling, guests started to slowly dissipate. Not literally, as they were corporeal, but they began giving their final congratulations and saying their good-byes. I wondered why they were leaving before Cookie and Uncle Bob did. The happy couple was supposed to head off to its pre-honeymoon honeymoon bliss while being pelted mercilessly with rice. It was tradition, and it wasn’t often I got to throw things at my BFF or my uncle. I had every intention of making every throw count, but they wouldn’t leave. Cookie was still in her wedding dress and Ubie in his tux and they were mingling and dancing and eating and drinking as though they had no intention of leaving.

  Didn’t they just want to be away from it all? I wanted to be alone with my sexy-as-hell husband so bad, I ached. But I didn’t want him changing out of that tux before I had my way with him. How many opportunities would I have to rip a tux off him? I could reenact all those James Bond fantasies I’d had since I was, like, two. But I had another appointment to attend soon, so the clothes ripping would have to wait. It was probably a good thing Reyes was being kept so busy. He had checked in off and on, but his attention was always needed here or there. He did give an incredible toast that only once mentioned the fact that Uncle Bob had wrongfully convicted him of murder. So that was nice.

  When yet another woman old enough to be his grandmother headed Reyes off and demanded his attention before he could get to me, I giggled at the forced smile on his face. She flirted, batted her lashes, and patted his biceps about twelve times too many for his comfort. He took out his phone and typed as the woman spoke to him, her movements exaggerated. I couldn’t be certain, but I had a feeling she was talking to him about how she used to be a pole dancer until her hip gave out.

  My phone chimed. I took it out of the delicate clutch that matched my dress and read Reyes’s text.

  Aren’t you going to save me?

  I don’t know. I’m having a lot of fun right now. Wanna sext?

  He crossed an arm over his chest while holding his phone. One corner of his mouth twitched as he leaned back against a tree and typed.

  Absolutely.

  Sweet. What are you wearing?

  His eyes sparkled with mirth.

  Animal print boxers and striped socks.

  I burst out laughing, gaining the attention of everyone around me. I texted back, only this time I wasn’t teasing.

  You are so beautiful. How are you even real?

  He sobered, staring at the phone a solid minute as the woman described her hip replacement surgery. At least, that’s what it looked like from my vantage. He lifted an index finger to put the woman on pause right when she was getting to her recovery and strode toward me. His gaze didn’t waver from mine as he walked, his gait like that of a panther on the prowl, the tux adding to the allure, and my body flooded with a molten heat that pooled deep in my abdomen. He took the three steps to the kitchen with one long stride and stopped in front of me.

  I looked up and let my gaze trace the outline of his full mouth, the angles of his strong jaw.

  After a moment, he wrapped a hand around my neck as though to pull me to him, but Ashley called out.

  “Aunt Charley! Uncle Reyes! Mom says we have to go.”

  After several seconds, he managed to catch her just as she jumped into his arms.

  “Can I stay the night? Pleeeeeeease.”

  Bianca walked up behind her and shook her head at us, adding a threatening glare should we even think about defying her.

  I patted Ashley’s back, in awe of the death grip she had on Reyes’s neck. She put her head on his shoulder and offered me her prettiest pout.

  Amador stepped up to take her. “Uncle Reyes has enough women in his life today,” he said, peeling Ashley off him with a chuckle. “He doesn’t need a fluffy orange tornado following him around.” He had been calling our dresses orange all day, mostly because Ashley was not a fan of anything orange.

  “Cimmanom,” Ashley said, disappointed we weren’t having a slumber party.

  “Aunt Charley needs to rest,” Bianca said, taking her hand when Amador set her down.

  “We can rest together,” she argued.

  I’d spoiled her with our movie nights, not that I regretted a second of it.

  “We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.”

  Everyone in the immediate area stilled while Reyes and I pressed our mouths together, trying not to crack up. This was a serious situation, and cracking up now would just be wrong.

  “Popcorn, honey,” Amador said. Then he looked at Bianca. “Hon, she really needs to learn how to say that word.”

  My laughter came out as more of a snort. I coughed to cover it up. Reyes just turned his head, unable to lose the grin.

  “I’ve tried,” Bianca said, flustered. “Tell you what, we’ll go to McDonald’s when we get home. How does that sound?”

  That was a pretty big deal. Bianca did not believe in feeding her children fast food.

  “Yay!” Stephen said as he ran up, zigzagged, feigned a left turn, took a right before circling the parental units and shooting off in the opposite direction. Reyes caught him just as he sped past. He giggled as he was lifted high into the air, then brought back down into Reyes’s arms. “I’m going to be fast like you,” he told Reyes.

  “I bet your dad’s faster,” he said.

  Amador scoffed playfully. “Don’t even start with that crap. I learned my lesson long ago.”

  Bianca tickled Stephen’s bare foot. “If we’re going to McDonald’s, you’ll have to put your shoes on.”

  Stephen had never been a big fan of shoes. Or socks. Or clothes in general. He’d once escaped from his house in his skivvies. They found him running down the street, telling anyone who would listen that his mother had been abducted by aliens.

  “I don’t like those shoes,” he said, wiggling into the crook of Reyes’s neck to get away from his mother while she tried to slip his socks onto him.

  “Do you remember what the sign at McDonald’s says when you go in? ‘No bare feet.’”

  He stopped wiggling and looked at her as though she’d lost her mind. “I’m not a bear.”

  I fought yet another giggle.

  “He has a point,” Reyes said.

  “Yeah, laugh it up, pendejo,” Amador volleyed. “Your time is coming.”

  “I can hardly wait,” Reyes said to me.

  We hugged good-bye, my heart full of hopes and dreams for Beep. Watching Reyes with Ashley and Stephen was one of the highlights of my life. I couldn’t wait to see how he’d behave with Beep. If she was half as charming as Amador and Bianca’s kids—

  Then the truth hit me. I looked down at Beep, then over at Reyes. She would have him wrapped around her little finger in no time. “We could be in trouble.”

  He laughed and pulled me into his arms. “I have no doubt,” he said, walking me to a dark corner of the kitchen.

  I giggled when he pressed himself into me. Gasped when he bent to nibble an earlobe. “I’m the size of Nevada. How can you even want me?”

  “I happen to love Nevada,” he countered, his voice as deep and soft as his kisses.

  If it weren’t for the lady standing right beside us, the moment would have been perfect.

  “You are the oldest soul I’ve ever come across,” she said, astonished as she gazed at me, her eyes unblinking.

  “Um, thank you?” I said as Reyes lifted his head at last.

  I looked over at the woman. She wore an outdated floral dress and had clearly forgone a bra. She really needed the support a bra could offer her. I’d seen her piddling about, looking in our drawers when she thought no one was paying attention. I was certain she’d gone through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. />
  “You’re ancient.”

  That wasn’t offensive at all. I straightened. “I’m only—”

  “You are older than the stardust in the sky,” she said, interrupting. Her eyes were glassed over, and I decided right then and there, no more open bars at weddings. Brought out the crazies.

  Reyes stepped out of my arms then, as though something outside had caught his attention, and said, “I have to go check on Artemis.”

  “Artemis?” I asked, baffled. Since when did he have to check on a departed dog? Seriously, what kind of trouble could she get into?

  “You are as old as time itself.”

  “Look,” I said, growing frustrated, “that’s just not something a girl wants to hear.”

  “You are older than—”

  “Wow, you know what?” I said as I led her back into the kitchen where Denise was cleaning up. “There’s even more champagne in here. Don’t let anyone try to convince you we’re out. You call ’em on it, okay?”

  Cookie walked in then, a horrified expression on her face.

  “Lucille, why don’t you go find Uncle Tommy? He’s been looking for you.”

  “Oh, my,” said the woman, rushing back outside.

  “I am so sorry,” Cookie said. “Lucille won’t bother you again. Uncle Tommy has been gone for decades. She’ll never find him.”

  “Oh, no. How did he die?”

  “Oh, he didn’t die. He just packed up one night and left to live in the wilds of Alaska. We still get a postcard every few years.”

  “You have a very eclectic collection of relatives.” I looked at Denise as she tried to scrub a stain out of the tablecloth. “But don’t we all?”

  “No, you’re right. Mine is a little more eclectic than others, which is why you’re only just meeting most of them.”

  “They’re great. Really, Cook, but you never told me your cousin Lucille was clairvoyant.”

  “Oh, yeah, she’s … different. Remember? I told you that one night we were playing Screw Your Neighbor with that couple from the first floor.”

  “Yes, you told me she’s different. You didn’t tell me she’s clairvoyant.”